“Oh. My. God. Did you just hit that pedestrian? Or did you just soak him with water!” I was already drenched from the massive puddle we just blasted through.
I was sitting in a rickshaw in the midst of a torrential downpour when I uttered that comment to the driver.
Moments earlier I was bartering for a ride from MG Road to Domlur with the same driver. “150 rupees madam.” “I’m not a tourist. I won’t pay a paise over 40 rupees.” “Fine. 30 rupees madam. 30 rupees to Domlur.” I think this was the first time in the history of India negotiations that I’ve ever had a rickshaw driver barter themselves down 10 rupees.
I’d learned a day before from one of my co-workers (thanks Chris!) to never mention the Diamond District in your directional negotiations. Doing so automatically increases the price of the ride to something unreasonable.
As we started out from MG Road I quickly realized my driver was psychotic. After bartering he quickly jumped in the front and hunched over the steering wheel like a demon from an anime comic. He then proceeded to suddenly cut across three lanes of traffic and do a u-turn in the opposite direction — right into opposing traffic that all had to swerve to avoid hitting us.
Over the next 5-minutes, we hit a scooter, soaked several pedestrians, passed a car on the sidewalk, and cut off every single car/motorbike/bus we passed. I was a little scared when we cut off a truck that looked like it was out of control.
At about halfway to Domlur the engine of the rickshaw cut out. As we sat stalled in the middle of Airport Road (think Crowchild Trail in Calgary) the driver calmly got out one side of the rickshaw with a towel, did something with the engine, and then stood on the other side as traffic blazed by and tried to get the damn thing started again. It started up after about the 7th or 8th attempt and we proceeded along dangerously, pissing off everyone we came into contact with.
By the time we reached Domlur (I had said “stop, let me out”) the driver had a procession of motorbikes all yelling at him. He just turned and sneered at them before blasting off into traffic. Honestly, I really need to get my rickshaw driver spidey senses in better working order.