Rebirth of the Phoenix

I’ve failed. It’s not the mamsy pamsy “I screwed up” kind of failure that you find at the grocery store when you’re feeling tired and weak. It’s the life changing “will I ever make it through the fog” kind of failure that happens only a few times in your life.

I’ve discovered that when this happens to me it’s done fast, in a blindingly spectacular fashion complete with a final phoenix like fireball that smashes into the ground and turns everything around it to ash. This is what happens when you take a person who lives their life out loud, who seeks out the unique, and who is full of passion for change and creativity and put them into a tiny little boxy cage.

I failed because I let myself get into that cage and stayed there until the phoenix appeared and turned my life into a pulverized mess.

This may all sound pretty terrible, but there is never yin without yang. The destructive power of the phoenix is paralleled by what is reborn on the other side. One cycle is finished and the knowledge gained can push the new cycle to the next level. The knowledge I’ve gained in recent months has filled my brain to the point where I have enough food and ideas to chew on for many years to come.