Many of you who are close to me know that I quit my job last week. It was a difficult decision to make especially when I have nothing to go to. Obviously the predominant question is “why?” to which I haven’t been able to come up with an articulate explanation until now.
When you start a new job it’s like a pyramid. You begin at the base and put a lot of energy into doing your job to learn the tasks, learn about the people you work with, become a part of the team, get to know your clients, learn the product and everything else involved. As you learn more and more you develop efficient as you work your way up the pyramid. Eventually you reach the pinnacle and a point where you can do your job effectively with balanced effort.
The company I worked for functions as an inverted pyramid. When I started I was at the pinnacle and had nothing to do for weeks on end because everyone was too busy and overwhelmed to train me. I began looking for stuff to do and suddenly found myself with a massive senior level project, with no training or support. It was very much a daunting sink or swim learning experience. I managed to make it work in hopes that the learnings would make me more efficient and better at my job.
As I worked my way to the end of that first project more projects were added without training or support. And, as I progressed up the inverted pyramid I got busier and busier without the opportunity to learn efficiencies; I was lost most of the time and the mistakes I made cost money. Months later I found myself working from home 2-3x a week, starting work at 5am and finishing at 9pm. And, when people saw that all my overtime was starting to ease the load they added more projects until the sheer weight of the pyramid crushed me.
By the end I was unable to look for a new job, I couldn’t function around my family, I couldn’t socialize or do things I enjoyed, and I never felt alive because all I could do was work in an attempt to try and get efficient. In the end I wasn’t efficient, I was burnt out. I kept hoping things would get better but they never did.
The funny thing is that if you look at an inverted pyramid the majority of the weight is balanced on one single point. This is terrifying and to me I could feel the entire structure teetering as it was held together by bubble gum, bandaids and Popsicle sticks. As an experienced Project Manager this was veeerrrry hard to be a part of (especially when my attempts to make change were rebuffed at all levels).
One thing I’ve heard people question over the years is whether or not Project Managers are of any benefit to a company (and when I say Project Manager, I mean a real Project Manager and not a Project Administrator, a Team Lead or some other variation on a theme). A good Project Manager can come into a company and bring methodologies or new ways of thinking to help flip that pyramid around so people can do their job effectively and still be happy and healthy. This alone was an incredible learning for me.
I think you’ve done the right thing…I’m sorry it had to get so bad for you. It sounded like an awful situation, and it’s good that you’re out of it. They were lucky to have you at all; it’s a shame they didn’t realize it.